Improving Sentences

Posted Fri, 16 May 2008 16:00:03 -0000 by Oren Lahav

Had enough of Identifying Sentence Errors yet?

Another big portion of the SAT writing section deals with improving sentences. It's a bit like identifying errors, but you're not looking for actual specific errors this time, you're looking for the best way of composing a certain sentence.

And what does that mean?

These questions test your ability to recognize and utilize the clarity, effectiveness and accuracy of sentences. You'll be given a sentence, with an underlined part. You'll then be given 5 choices of paraphrasing the underlined part of the sentence, with choice A always being the original sentence. You'll then have to choose which of the different ways of saying the same thing produces the best sentence, in conjunction with the other parts of the sentence.

Don't worry, here's an example to help you figure this out:

Example

I published my first piece of professional writing +and I was only 17 years old

and I was only 17 years old
I was only 17 years old at the time
When I was only 17
Upon the reaching of age 17
At the time during which I was 17 years old

The correct answer is 3. Although some other sentences sound about right, "I published my first piece of professional writing when I was only 17" sounds the best.

How do I go about solving these?

A good way to do this is to go through the original sentence looking for an error in grammar, tense, inconsistencies in noun-numbers, etc. Once you've found an error, look for the sentence that fixes this error. A rule of thumb says that most often, if two options correct the same grammar error, choose the shorter one.

Remember also that you may find no error, the original sentence may be right, and in fact is right in about 20% of the cases. It's also important to note that you don't want to change the meaning of the original sentence. If any one of the choices does just that, eliminate it right away.

Ready for another example?

Example:

The convenience and availability of Mars Bars account for their popularity among chocolate-lovers.

account for their popularity
accounts for its popularity
accounts for their popularity
is why it's popular
are a reason for their popularity.

Looking at the numbers-agreement, we have 2 reasons for the popularity of many Mars Bars. The only choice that reflects that is choice 1, so the original sentence is the best one.

I'm still scared, any tips?

Sure, I usually have a few.

Read the entire sentence first. Don't forget that option A may be right, the original sentence may be the best, and it is in 1 out of every 5 cases. Don't be afraid to circle that option.
You're not actually identifying errors- Don't choose the wrong sentence, choose the right one.
Focus on the whole sentence- Don't just look at each choice on its own, see how they work with the rest.
Read slowly- Sometimes your brain ignores errors when you're going too fast, if you go slow you'll see the wrong choices easily.
S&S- Short and simple. Concise answers are preferable as long as they don't change the meaning of your sentence.

Check out Krista's awesome Improve Your Writing~ Consistency lesson. It covers topics such as parallelism and pronoun shifts which will help you identify wrong sentences.

Sentence improvement can get tricky. The best way to prepare is to practice, so try out the follow-up test for more examples.

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