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acrosstheuniverse said:

Here’s your question of the week #5!

We’re giving you the introduction sentence and the conclusion sentence of a mini-essay. All you need to do is fill in the middle part with sentences about the topic!

This will not only help you to improve your English skills, but we’ll be here to give you feedback on your structure, flow, grammar, spelling and much more!

Don’t forget to post your answer below!

Many a time, there will be people in our lives whom we look up to and aspire to be like. For me, this person is __.

This person has shown me the kind of life I’d like to live, and for that I can call them my inspiration.

Don’t be shy, show off your English paragraph skills by posting below! :)

acrosstheuniverse said:

I’ll give you some help here.

Why not write about someone older than you that you look up to? A teacher? A friend? Superman?

It could be anyone who has had any sort of impact on your life, and that you can call an inspiration.

Start writing! We can’t wait to see your responses!

oLahav said:

Here’s my sample writing:

Many a time, there will be people in our lives whom we look up to and aspire to be like. For me, this person is Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Unlike his brothers, who rely on their intelligence, strength, or party-dude spirit to succeed in life, Leonardo achieves his goals using determination and strength of spirit. He constantly displays a sense of responsibility and leader skills beyond his years. Leonardo may be a fictional character, but he represents a great leader figure, one that could easily become a dominant character in the world of tomorrow. This person has shown me the kind of life I’d like to live, and for that I can call them my inspiration.

What does your paragraph look like?

acrosstheuniverse said:

And here’s my sample:

Many a time, there will be people in our lives whom we look up to and aspire to be like. For me, this person is my dad. My dad is the kind of person that by nature is always surrounded by great, genuine people. He constantly puts others before himself and the impact of that is astounding, I haven’t met anyone who’s had anything bad to say about him. He takes a leadership role in all he does, whether it be volunteering his time or during work. He’s communicative, enthusiastic, determined and caring. Him and my mom have given me opportunities to pursue my dreams which is something I’m very thankful for. This person has shown me the kind of life I’d like to live, and for that I can call them my inspiration.

Who inspires you?

chand21 said:

Many a time, there will be people in our lives whom we look up to and aspire to be like. For me, this person is my dad.The amount of determination and passion that he puts into his tasks always makes me want to work harder.Everyone admires him for his sharp intelligence,quick wit and his balanced nature..He has always kept all his worthy or in some cases not so worthy friends and family before him and helped them whenever he can.The amount of care,love and attention that he tries to calmly give after working for an exhausting 13 hours a day makes me love and respect him tremendously.For his friends he is their ever realiable for anything friend,for me he is my ever supporting dad,for my grand parents he is their most caring and responsible child and for my mom of course he is her life!!He has shown me the kind of life I’d like to live, and for that I can call him my inspiration.

ok i hope its not too bad!!

acrosstheuniverse said:

Hey Chand21!

Have to say this is a very well written mini-essay. The diction you’ve acquired and employed in this paragraph is impeccable. The flow and style of your writing is clear and easy to follow. Excellent job!

And here’s some tips specifically for you to help you improve your writing even more.

• remember to include a space between the period at the end of a sentence and the beginning of a new one. Like that!
• for the sentence “He has always kept all his worthy or in some cases not so worthy friends and family before him and helped them whenever he can”, you can make this a little clearer by stating the key, or main point of the sentence first. So, it would read as : “My dad constantly puts others before himself; whether they be family, worthy friends, or not so worthy, he helps them whenever he can.” This adds a little more clarity to your sentence just by changing around the order slightly.
• reliable, although it looks right to spell and say it as “realiable” is actually spelt without the “A”.

You can now take these tips and apply them to your essay writing. And it’s not too bad at all. Actually, this piece gets an A from me! :) Great work Chand21!

Let’s keep this discussion rolling. Who else has some inspiration to share??

chand21 said:

ohhh thanks soo much!!! i ll remember all your points and try to apply it in my future essays!! i think i just did not read the essay very thoroughly after completing it because i know it is spelled as reliable not realiable!!! thanks for pointing it out anyways!!

acrosstheuniverse said:

Not a problem at all Chand. It’s an honest mistake. My word of terror is “surprise”. I always spell it “suprise”. Also, the word “convenience”, I always get the spell-checker to correct me!

chand21 said:

ohh what a coincidence!! i also have a problem with the word convenience!! i loathe this word and one more word actually which as of now i simply cannot remember…

chand21 said:

ohh yaa tomorrow!! i always spell it as tommorrow in my haste!!

acrosstheuniverse said in response to:

Yes, words that make use of the double letters can get confusing. Such as “Mississippi” or “Mississauga”, thank goodness they’re just place names and not used that often in discussion!

tenzin said:

many a time,there will be people in our lives whom we look up to and aspire to be like. for me this person is with no doubt, my sister.i have always felt an unbridled gratitude for her sacrifice that she acquiesingly gave up her studies to help my widowed mom in our sweater bussiness.i must admit the sacrifice that was transcendent to giving up all her dreams kept me determined to work harder every time.sometimes when i feel like skipping my classes and loosing my touch with the books,i look into my photo album and start realising the cost of her sacrifice that i must compensate by giving my whole self to studies.she has always been the one who has persistently been a ray of light in my life.this person has shown me the kind of life i had like to live,and for them i can call them my inspiration.

acrosstheuniverse said in response to:

Wow Tenzin, what an engaging story. You have a very good sense of flow in your writing and I can sense that you write from the heart. This is especially important because you really want the reader to feel involved in your story and understand your point of view. I like how you’ve incorporated some difficult and different vocabulary. This shows the reader that you may read extensively or that you understand a broad range of words. The sentence I love the most is “I must admit, the sacrifice that was transcendent to giving up all her dreams kept me determined to work harder every time”. Excellent writing!

A few suggestions to make your writing even stronger: Make sure you use a capital letter at the start of each sentence. Separate your sentences by using a space after the period and then starting yet another sentence with another capital. This is simple punctuation that you can easily get the hang of. “No doubt” is actually an incorrect form of “without a doubt”, so try to keep this in mind. “Loosing” should be spelled as “losing”. Check out this lesson on Common Grammar Errors to read up on more. The vocabulary words you’ve used are mostly good, just make sure that you’re spelling them correctly. One you may want to look over is”acquiescently”.

Hope these give you an opportunity to raise the skill level of your writing even higher. Great job Tenzin!

tenzin said:

hey thanks.i will try my best to keep those corrections etched in my mind.i am just looking forward to write another one.Can you please come up with these sort of questions MORE FREQUENTLY.

acrosstheuniverse said:

Here’s a new Mini-Essay Topic!

What is your dream job and why?

Be sure to include

• Introductory sentence
• Body sentences to describe and show the reasons why you would like this certain job or career path. This can include how your education or what experience you’ve had in the past can help you achieve your dream job or career path.
• Try to use some vocabulary words within your essay. Make sure you use them in the correct context.
• Finish with a conclusion sentence that summarizes or leaves an open or optimistic thought.

Good luck! We’ll be here to help you improve and let you know which parts we enjoyed! *