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Rate this essay as well... (Discussion)

djm saidSun, 19 Apr 2009 06:23:42 -0000 ( Link )

Please say what you think of the following essay for the SAT….comments welcome…..

PROMPT:: Do you think that persistence is the major factor in success, and that talent, genius, and education play, at best, secondary roles?

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  1. djm saidSun, 19 Apr 2009 06:25:10 -0000 ( Link )

    ESSAY::

    Success isn’t achieved in a day. Hard work and persistence are the essential ingredients behind success. Getting the best education and having exceptional talent will come to no use until and unless we persevere.

    A valid example would be that of Leonardo da Vinci – ‘The Universal Genius’. No one can deny that he wasn’t talented. He was perhaps the greatest genius of in the history of mankind. But he was wayward and never persisted for long with one thing. He spent his life thinking of countless inventions. He knew exactly how to build them. But alas! He never built them. He always shifted his thinking towards other things before completing his earlier project. As a result he never really invented anything. Mankind lost its greatest inventor simply because he didn’t persist.

    In sharp contrast would be the example of Thomas Alva Edison, arguably the world’s most prolific inventor. He was expelled from school at an early age because his teachers thought he was no good. But did he give up? No, never. He worked hard and the rest is history. It is said that he failed more than a thousand times before developing the perfect filament for a light bulb. And the bulb was just one of his numerous inventions.

    Another similar example would be that of Mahatma Gandhi. He had no political experience or education. Yet he decided to take on the mighty British Empire almost single handedly. He had to face defeat, dejection, humiliation and imprisonment. But he never gave up. He toiled day and night and had the last laugh. He managed to drive the British out of India.

    As the examples of Edison and Gandhiji show, perseverance can take a person to the acme of success. On the other hand, da Vinci’s case glaringly shows how not having persistence can even make the most talented person unworthy. So, it can be safely said that persistence is the most important factor behind success. Talent, education and genius play only a very small role.

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  2. oLahav saidMon, 20 Apr 2009 13:53:39 -0000 ( Link )

    I think this is an improvement. The third paragraph adds a lot, don’t you think?

    The three examples are well chosen, and you have effective and insightful development going on. Organization and progression are used well… the few small issues I have would be small language concerns (starting sentences with “but” and “and”, things like that). The conclusion is much better than last time, although I would probably switch the order of the last sentence with the one before it.

    In my unprofessional opinion, this essay is a 5.5 or even a 6, it’ll depend on the marker. You’ve got talent, good job.

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  3. djm saidMon, 20 Apr 2009 16:46:19 -0000 ( Link )

    thankx a lott…ur suggestions really helped me…..i will post another essay in a couple of days

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  4. rkmittal saidTue, 21 Apr 2009 05:03:30 -0000 ( Link )

    Great essay with very good examples to support your argument! Well done.

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